The Drawer

When I first knew you I had to write.
Only through pen and paper could I express what was on my heart.
To pour out my heart.

But as time passed I thought no-one wanted to hear.
I saw my notebook and pen on the desk,
took them and shut them in the drawer.

From time to time I would hear the drawer rattle.
Obeying it’s bidding I would open it,
extract my notebook and pen and write.

Then, once written, I would return my  tools to their wooden prison.
Push the drawer shut with a soft clunk and turned away.
The longer I left it the softer its call became.
Until one day it stopped.
Fell silent.

I walked away thinking that was the end of that season for me.
Very occasionally I would hear it rattle again.
But I turned by back and closed my ears.

Then one summer dawn,
as I sat in the gathering warmth of sunrise,
you intervened.

Fed up with simply rattling, the drawer burst open.
Ejected from its wooden dungeon a notebook, long forgotten,
fell open at a new page. A new beginning

And the quiet, powerful voice came once more.
It said simply “write”.
Once again I discounted myself, made excuses.

The voice came again “write”.
The quiet voice, it did not need volume.
I felt the weight of the word.

So I wrote.
So I write.
While crying internal, silent tears of regret for time wasted.

Then the voice says to me.
“Do you think my plans will so easily be disrupted, derailed, frustrated?”
“I hold all things in my hand.
From the first to the last.
From the large to the small.
My plans will not be nullified.”

“So write and be quiet no more.”
“Write and be the quiet man no more.”

I first started writing my poems in my late teens. Even then I struggled to call them “poems” because in my mind a poem had to have a rhyme structure (Spoiler Alert: new Blog post on that subject coming shortly) and, as you can see, none of mine do. I am no natural English scholar!

So, as the years passed and I could not find any outlet for them I started to discount them more and more until I basically stopped.

However God was not happy with this situation, so waited until I was in a place where he had my full attention. He then made it clear that I was to write, but take it seriously this time and use the new opportunities of Social Media to “get them out there”. Not to glorify me but to glorify him (hence I write under a pseudonym).

Since then I’ve been on a bit of a creative re-awaking which coincides with a general re-awaking within the Church universal (here in the UK at least) of the importance of creativity as part of our expression of love, worship and praise to God. Ashley Abramson from Bethel Music in California has written a great Blog post on this subject so I wholeheartedly recommend you read it –

So, before I ramble on too much here’s the bottom line.

If you feel God is prompting you to use a skill to express aspects of your relationship with him GO FOR IT!

If it is writing then write. If it is drawing then draw. If it is painting then paint. If it is singing then sing. If it is writing music then compose. If it is song writing then write those songs. If it is taking photos then take them. If it is dance then dance for him. Whatever skill God has placed within you then use it to express your heart back to him and out to others. We have never lived at a time when it is so easy for the individual to share their thoughts and works with others. Let’s use this for good, to build up and encourage each other.

Ashley has summed this up far better than I can:

No matter what your niche is, or whether or not you consider yourself an “artist,” one thing is for sure: you were made to create. You, in all your gifts and talents and nuances, are hand-spun by God, purposefully and painstakingly, to co-author Heaven’s reality on earth. You are a creator by design, and your specific personality and dreams and combined with your intimacy with the Lord are the tools you will use to shape the earth into a place that looks just like Heaven.

Don’t copy my mistake and discount yourself. Pray and trust that God will open up the opportunities. We don’t need to worry about the end-result. We just need to be obedient to his promptings.


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